I vividly remember hearing Taylor Swift’s song “22” for the first time. I had just graduated high school and celebrated my 18th birthday and one of my friends had given me Taylor Swift’s newly released album: Red.

I recall listening to the first 5 songs on the CD (gosh, we still used CDs back then!!) and thinking that they were all pretty sad and depressing. Not in a bad way, just in a there’s more to life but I haven’t found it kind of way.

Then track 6 started.

The lyrics and the music were so upbeat; I couldn’t help but smile and bop my head to the rhythm. As the chorus hit, I heard the popular line: “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22!” (don’t even pretend that you didn’t just sing that as you read it). I remember thinking how FUN being 22 must be and I was envious that I had to wait 4 years to experience it.

–Fast forward to 2016–

A couple of months ago, I was counting down the days until I would FINALLY graduate from college and, as the day neared, I realized that my 22nd birthday was also approaching.

And then it hit me.

Taylor Swift’s song.

Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming since of regret. What had I done in the last 4 years? What had I done in the last {almost} 22 years? I had been waiting. Waiting for my life to start. Waiting for the moment where suddenly everything would magically fall into place and I could just sit back, take it easy and enjoy life.

I realized in that moment that there were so many things I had put on the back burner. So many things that had my focus and attention that shouldn’t have.

I am embarrassed to admit that my little self-pity session actually lasted quite a bit longer than it should have. Nearly two weeks went by where all I did was think about the things I hadn’t done. All I could do was think about how I absolutely did not want to turn 22.

Thankfully, my husband was there to snap me out of it. With his encouragement, and through reading scripture, I realized that the easiest way for my life to become meaningless was for me to dwell on all the things I did that I shouldn’t have done and all the things I didn’t do that I should have done.

I am so grateful that my God is not a God of guilt and regret. He is a God bursting with unending love and faithfulness and He has a plan for my life.

All I have to do is surrender to Him.

I am proud to say that, although I know this year will be full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, times of blessing and times of struggle, I’m trusting that God is working through it all and, with Him, nothing is impossible.

So…I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.